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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Confident Parenting

I'm linking up with "Build Em' Up" with Kelly's Korner, Life in the Green House, Blue Eyed Bride, and Lil Light O' Mine.

Today they were discussing if you are a confident parent. I found this an interesting topic because it is something I have struggled with in the past. As I read my devotions today during my quite time I thought it was no coincidence that I was reading in Proverbs 31 today. When I think of the perfect example of what a confident mother is - I think of the example that God gave us in Proverbs. Now some people believe that she was not an "actual" woman - it was just a list of characteristics some mother was giving to her son in what he should search for in a wife. However, I do not believe that God would give us unattainable goals. I believe she was a real woman who knew how to walk in the Spirit of the Lord every day. Do I think she was perfect? No, because no human can be perfect in a imperfect world; but I do think she was a woman who was goal oriented, self-sufficient, self controlled, and very feminine all wrapped up into one woman. The Bible speaks of her as being confident. She had to make a lot of decisions that she could not have made without confidence reigning inside of her. (Proverbs 31:16,18) Confidence can sometimes be hard to come by. For me, confidence came through trials. I have never looked my age. I have always been on the smaller side and always looks much younger then my actual age. When I got married, everyone in the Bridal shop thought I was a 12 year old girl playing with wedding dresses. When I was pregnant with our first child - nothing changed - they thought I was a young girl who found herself pregnant. I would be so insecure about my age that I would make sure I wore my wedding band every where - even if I had to squeeze it on at 9 1/2 months pregnant! The thing that got me the most is when one young girl thought me and my newborn child was my husbands children (My husband is only a year older then me)!!! 
After I had my first child, I felt so inadequate as a mother. I had no idea how I would care for another human being. Making decisions for her - knowing what is good or bad for her. Realizing the fact that if I made a wrong choice it would not only affect me but now would effect another being. I quickly became overwhelmed. The older she got, the more I began to "fit" into mother hood. I started feeling comfortable wearing it; but what really helped me feel confident in decisions is when my husband and I went through some major trials and decisions. We were at a time in our life where we were making some major decisions for our family. It would include moving states and moving away from all that we knew as comfortable, familiar, and family. When I made that move it helped me realize my position as a mother. After our second child was born, I remember not feeling quite so over whelmed after bringing him home. There was a time in my life that I based all of my decisions on what my role models thought about it. I would look to them more then I would look to God. Trials taught me was how to hear God's voice. I started hearing Him speak to me and leading me in the decisions that I needed to make. Once His voice became so familiar to me, it became easier for me to start hearing him in the trivial things like every day life with 2 children. My walk with Him has helped me become a confident parent. Now when I hit a brick wall with my children, I have learned to go spend time with God and allow His spirit to direct my decisions. I still look to my role models for support and guidance, but they no longer are my sole decisions maker. Now, I listen for God's direction and then I go to my role models and ask for their insight. If they match-up I know God is speaking; if they do not match up, I go back to God and listen for His final word. 

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10-31